River of Fire

No more F1-11s at RiverFire - mediocre indeed!

How's the serenity?

There's nothing quite like a beach holiday for getting back to nature. The gentle rustling of leaves in the breeze, the merry chirping of birds, the rhythmic roll of the waves, the roar of a jumbo's engine...

By the way, the mediocre part of that video was not the plane destroying the peace (that was pretty cool), it was the terrible videoing!

Hop Along Now...

Apparently a number of children throughout the world were bitterly disappointed on Easter morning this year, with the Easter Bunny dropping his bundle and failing to deliver Easter Eggs to countless homes. The attached picture may go some way to explaining this event. Lift your game bunny boy!

Who's the Mentalist?

There’s a lot to like about “The Mentalist”. Simon Baker is engaging as the damaged lead, Patrick Jane, who has an ever so endearing smile (and rather dapper vests). The relationship between Jane and his boss Lisbon is a friendship built on mutual respect and admiration that leaves you wanting just a little bit more. The scripts are generally entertaining and the characters have a moral consistency that is refreshing.

I can’t help but envisage a juvenile debate, however, when I hear the title. It’s a little kooky.
“You’re the mentalist!”
“No you’re the mentalist!”
“I am not the mentalist! You are!”
“Am not!"

But at the end of the day we all know that Patrick Jane is the Mentalist!

Diffused Illumination

After eighteen years of mediocrity, I was pretty used to being average. I realised now that I’d long ago given up any aspirations of shining at anything. I just did the best with what I had, never quite fitting into my world.

Bella – Breaking Dawn - Stephenie Meyer

30 Rock Rocks!

Jack - Lemon, what tragedy happened in your life that you insist upon punishing yourself with all this... mediocrity?

Lemon - What? Cause I'm eating a turkey sub?

Jack - Your turkey sub, your clothes, the fact that a woman of your resources and position lives like some boxcar hobo. Or maybe it's the fact that while I'm saying all this you have a piece of lettuce stuck in your hair.

Promises, Promises

There’s nothing quite like a summer storm to round off a hot and humid day – the cooling breeze, the slow build up of cloud, the transformation of day to veritable night, the gentle rumble of thunder and the freaky flash of lightning as nature asserts her authority.

Granted, no one wants to experience destructive winds or flooding rains on a regular basis, but I’ve been feeling a bit let down by the weather of late.

Let’s start with the temperature. Ridiculous. One day it’s too hot, the next too cold and then there's one that’s just right thrown in for good measure. Not that I’m complaining – there are worse fates weather wise. It’s certainly keeping us guessing.

As for those promised storms – most mediocre. They’ve come to nothing in my neck of the woods. A wee drop of rain, the odd rumble and an occasion blanket of lightning. Not that I’m after one of those “get the insurance policy details ready” type storms, but how about a decent light show and some soaking rain. Is that too much to ask? Perhaps. One must always be grateful, not only for what one is given, but also for what one is spared I suppose.

May the rain fall lightly on all your fields.

Round the Bend

People driving on your hammer when you’re doing the speed limit – mediocre
Letting them fly past you while spying a speed camera ahead – priceless

People not indicating and cutting you off in traffic (they’re called indicators people, not reflectors) – mediocre
People giving you a thank you wave – priceless

The price of petrol – mediocre
Walking or riding a bike – priceless...but mostly a lot more effort

Me trying to reverse park – mediocre
People who successfully reverse park in one go – bloody annoying

Just a Moment

All in a moment,
The world stood still.
Life sparkled and glistened
On each drop of water,
In each grain of sand.
Peace prevailed and
Calm was caught on
The breath of air that
Tentatively hovered
In the fading light of day.
All entities relaxed in harmony,
All in a moment.

From Little Things, Big Things Grow

Growing up
isn’t always
easy to do.

Therefore,
one should approach
this task with
caution.

And a touch of humour...

Prefection

They say it’s hard to soar like an eagle when you’re surrounded by turkeys. But what about the opposite scenario? It’s difficult not to look like a turkey when you’re surrounded by eagles. Nothing brings out one’s own sense of mediocrity than being confronted with the genius of others. Now of course the mature and grown up thing to do would be to delight in the talent of others and celebrate their success, but let’s be honest – deep down a little part of us thinks, why can’t I do that?! Throughout life we are placated with sentiments such as, everyone has a special talent. Yeah sure! Cold comfort that is when you discover your special talent is the ability to stack books in perfect piles by size or the unique ability sleep for extended periods of time. Yes. Very impressive!

Picture - "Prefection" Traffic Signal Box by Scott (fischer) Moorhead
http://svc189.bne146v.server-web.com/artforce/rating.asp?id=20
To see more of fischer's work, go to:
www.fischer.com.au

The Eye of the Beholder

Art is a curious thing. One person’s mediocrity is another person’s masterpiece. There was a painting hanging in the Queensland Art Gallery that was a canvas painted black. Not subtle shades of black, not different textures of black. Just black. Is that art? Apparently, yes. Is it good art? Well that’s open for debate.

A piece that may appear to one person as “the internal struggle between good and evil”, may look to another as if someone has thrown up all over the place. So who gets to decide what art is all about – is it the artist or is it the art viewer?

Ultimately, art appreciation comes down to personal taste. If a piece (be it literature, music, a painting, or a sunset) speaks to you - reminds you of a place, a time, a thought, a person, a feeling, or asks you to delve more deeply into yourself - then it may appeal to you as valid art.

There are no rules about whether or not something is truly a work of art, although I have devised my own benchmark – if it’s something I could produce, it’s not art. If it exceeds my ability (wouldn’t be too hard mind you, most people above the age of three could do this) then it qualifies as legitimate art!

Some of my favourite works of art, by the likes of Michael Sowa and Quint Buchholz, can be found not in galleries but on notecards (they may well be in galleries too - don't want to sell these talented individuals short!). Check out http://www.inkognito.de/ for some more than mediocre art.

Images:

1 - Peter Anderson - Persons of Interest, Kingston, Norfolk Island, 2006; oil on canvas

2 - The Oozy Scab - 2008; Pencil on paper

3 - On the Rocks, Shelley Beach, Caloundra, 2002; oil on canvas

4 - Quint Buchholz - Title and date unknown; Notecard

List of Delusions

I’m a list maker. If it’s not on a list, it’s most likely not going to get done. (In fact, I wrote a list of things to include in this post about lists). Lists give the illusion of having a purpose, being organised and in control.

But there’s a downside to list making – the abject feeling of failure when you reach the end of the day, weekend, week (or whatever your timeframe), and you find more items on your list are not crossed off than are crossed off. This feeling of mediocrity can easily be avoided, however. The trick is to be more expansive in your list making. Add, add, add. Everything should go on your list, especially things you’ve already done. These can then immediately be crossed off. “Get out of bed” – check! “Eat breakfast” – check! “Breath in” – check! “Breath out” – check!

In this way you are far more likely to shift the balance back to having more items checked off than not. It doesn’t matter that you may have only succeeded in merely existing and your thesis on procrastination remains unwritten. You have climbed from the ranks of list mediocrity to that of list mastery!

Mediocrity at Work

Clearly mediocrity is everywhere. For a perfectionist, it can be very hard to accept mediocrity, particularly in their work. Now obviously, there are some occupations where mediocrity is a no-no. For example, an Ambulance Officer should always strive to eliminate mediocrity, as should a pilot. A chef on the other hand, while aiming for excellence, may get away with a little mediocrity every now and then (where’s the harm in a little food poisoning?).

Teachers, who obviously would like to be all-knowing, can use mediocrity to their advantage – “Yes I did spell that word incorrectly Jimmy, but I did it deliberately to see if you were paying attention!” On the flip side, it’s probably not good for a teacher to confuse “Naturalist” and “Naturist” when presenting student awards before the entire school and parent body. Similarly, they may need to think twice before announcing into the loud haler that, “All those boys with balls should be more careful!” And telling a four year old to, “Stop acting like a child,” frankly doesn’t make much sense.

Then there are those professions where mediocrity is a prerequisite. Journalism for example. Imagine if all the journalists suddenly became literate and well-informed! We would no longer need editors or talk-back radio!

So before beating yourself up for being mediocre at what you do (I’m not saying you are, you may be a flaming genius at your job), stop and think about the fact that perhaps your mediocrity is the very thing keeping you, and those around you, employed!

Imperfection Still Works

It deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteers are in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihngs dno't hvae to be pfrecet to sitll wrok.

Taken from "Walking Tall - Overcoming Life's Little Challenges" by Anthony Gunn.

What's in a name?

Here's a classic case of mediocrity lending itself to magnificent humour. In this case, the author's knowledge (or lack thereof) of animals makes for quite an interesting "Lost" poster.

Text reads:

• Cat found!
• Male
• No collar
• Light tan with grey & black
• Not very friendly, I think he might be scared.
• Not house broken :-(
• Found Jan 23 on Sydney Rd
• If he is yours please call...

And the picture is of...well...not a cat!

Diagnosis: Mediocre

Warning: If you do not wish to know what happens in Season Three of Doc Martin, please discontinue reading this post NOW!

I have cast the final episode of Doc Martin, Series Three, into the realms of mediocrity for two reasons. There is, of course, the obvious reason - a not so happy ending. But more mediocre than that is the following exchange of dialogue:

Martin: I thought if I just ... sat there, it would be in your best interests.

Louisa: Humiliating me as I stood in the church alone would be in my best interests would it?

Martin: Well you weren't going to be in the church.

Louisa: Well at least I had the decency to write you a letter.


Louisa's final line there bugs me no end. Surely, honestly, the scene should have played out like this:


Martin: I thought if I just ... sat there, it would be in your best interests.

Louisa: Humiliating me as I stood in the church alone would be in my best interests would it?

Martin: Well you weren't going to be in the church.

Louisa: You didn't bloody well know that!


Let's hope the mediocrity of the Series Three finale paves the way for greatness in Series Four.

http://www.docmartinseries4.blogspot.com/

Zero Punctuation

The English language is a complex beast. One false move and you've completely misrepresented your meaning.

Would you apply for the following position? "Wanted - person to wash dishes and two waiters". I guess it depends how good looking the waiters are!

Would you let this firm mow your lawn? "Don't let lawn mowing kill you - let us do it for you."

How quickly a Board Secretary can become a Bored Secretary.

And who hasn't struggled with a sentence like, "Over there is where they're going to build their campfire".

I'm certainly no expert in the field - I was at University before I learnt the difference between its and it's - but now that I am well on the way to mending my own mediocre spelling and punctuation efforts (well maybe not spelling), I find I notice the errors of others much more readily.

One can never be too quick, however, to cast nasturtiums. For it is from mediocrity that greatness is often born.

Ben "Yahtzee" Croshaw, a game reviewer for "The Escapist", uses a complete lack of punctuation to great effect. You can check out his reviews at (infrequent course language warning):

http://www.escapistmagazine.com/articles/view/editorials/zeropunctuation

Goodbye to the Normals

Children are odd creatures. At times they seem so stupid and yet at other times you can only marvel at their brilliance, their wisdom, their innocence, their insight and their thoughtfulness. Children are great advocates of mediocrity ("So what if the person in my picture has two heads, one arm and a tree growing out of their bellybutton? I think it looks great!") and great challengers of its use also ("You seem to have put those peas rather close to my potatoes. I therefore cannot eat either unless you re-dish my entire dinner, including my cup of milk!").

A fine example of children challenging mediocrity can be found in the short film "Goodbye to the Normals". Enjoy! (Mild language warning).

Mother: Um, banana sandwiches.

Son: Are they Fair Trade?

Mother: Well, they're organic.

Son: Is that what I asked you?

Talk to the Hand

It can be challenging to accept mediocrity in yourself. It can be more challenging to accept it in others. After all, we know we ourselves are only human and prone to the occasional error. But what excuse do other people have!?

Mediocrity in manners may be the one area where I struggle to find reasonable justification for its acceptance. And I'm not alone.

Lynne Truss's book "Talk to the Hand - The Utter Bloody Rudeness of Everyday Life (or six good reasons to stay home and bolt the door)" is a wonderful affirmation for all those people who have found themselves annoyed by any of the following:

• people who can't say please and thank you (is it really that hard?)


• people who talk too loudly in public


• people who talk too loudly on mobile phones in public


• people who talk on mobile phones when they are supposed to be talking to you


• service industries that make you serve yourself (to lodge a complaint about this service, press 9)


• people who believe the universe exists solely for them (oops, I ran over your kid, but they did get in the way of my Hummer and my life)

• people who don't give a thank you wave in traffic, when you allow their needs to precede your own (thereby forcing you to behave in a despicable manner yourself)


• people who don't clean up after themselves (little piggies)


• parents who believe their children are born knowing everything they need to know about life and therefore (a) get cross with them when they don't know everything (b) fail to correct poor behaviour


• people in general

Find out more about the utter bloody rudeness of everyday life at:

http://eatsshootsandleaves.com/talk.html